I needed a picture of a ribbon on a finger for this picture. But it wouldn’t be right to just pull some clip art, that’s not a good look, so I went searching for a red ribbon. I found a red ribbon around an old candle. Cutting the ribbon off the candle using my grandfathers’ old pearl fishing knife felt right. It was slightly sparkly and I hate glitter. The herpes of craft supplies. Perfect for a self-effacing image. It couldn’t be tied in a bow, because that isn’t my style. I was the kind of kid who when he was diving, would never be complimented on the prettiness of my dives. Hell no. I was the one who bit the gnarberry and threw the most complex and ridiculous shit. The kind of stuff that literally made my head spin. Triple front flip. Inward 1 1/2 with 1/2 twist. My favorite was 1 1/2 with a full twist. Stuff where I took all the raw power and creative energy and channeled it into something insane.
That sounds about right for this photo.
Tie the ribbon around your middle finger tight, almost enough to cut off circulation, because you’re mad at yourself right now and you’re trying to remind yourself to stay mad. Anger is a good motivator to getting things done. You’re pissed because of the second thing you want to remind yourself about: consistency beats talent every time (but that’s for another day, another post, right now you’ve got to take a picture). Put on your shooting range earmuffs, the kind that you would wear when woodworking if you had access to a shop. The kind that you wear because you have undiagnosed ADHD like so many other friends, instigated by a steady diet of social media and non-stop clickbait that prevents you from settling down to read a novel, or heaven forbid create something that causes the slight tinnitus you have from previous playing in a high school rock band when your drummer thought it was a good idea to play rimshots in your ear.
The ringing is like a fight bell that drives you. The blue will contrast well with the red ribbon.
Stare directly in the camera. Don’t flinch. Don’t look away. You’ve got nice eyes. Sometimes you forget they’re hazel not brown. Remember the time you were in the moon habitat and you forgot they were hazel. It says hazel on your driver’s license. Remember to maintain eye contact because you’re staring down yourself. This detail definitely matters.
Flick yourself off.
Write it up. Publish. Repeat. Edit it later.